SOFTWARE, JAPAN, SELF-ACTUALIZATION AND

Left the house around 5AM this morning on my way to work - and was surprised to see snow and ice on the ground!

Even Tokyo was enjoying a little snow-dusted ice and slush.

Yesterday, January 20^th, was my Japan Day - the day I came to Japan 3 years ago. On my last Japan Day I wrote a post while reflecting on all the things that had happened in the previous 2 years. That post was, and still is, rather important to me - because it helped me seriously think about the things that I did right and the things I could improve on in my life (of course, I’m sure I missed a few of the latter). Today, I’d like to keep it simple and just quickly write about 11 things in 2011 that changed my life in some significant way.

In chronological order:

Working at COOKPAD: Although I started at COOKPAD in November of 2010, it was January and February when it finally hit home that “I’m not in Kansas anymore.” By February of 2011, I was very aware that I had taken a leap outside of my comfort zone. My initial expectations for the new work environment didn’t match the reality and I started feeling a little anxious about my work and my potential to do great work. The biggest cause of the anxiety was actually one of the reasons I moved to COOKPAD - the desire to work in a Japanese company with lots of other engineers. What didn’t dawn on me until after the “honeymoon period” was the fact that language barriers at work essentially crippled my working style. I’m usually in a good spot if I can take charge and do the things that I’m sure will help make things better… but that only works if everyone else can understand how the thing I’m doing will help them. By February, I’d already made several attempts to collaborate with other engineers - but my ideas weren’t getting through the language barrier - and it made me feel more of a burden to others than anything. This feeling, this anxiety, really hit me hard and made it clear to me that the only person to blame for my situation was the guy in the mirror. It forced me into action, and looking back - I’m glad it did.

3/11 Earthquake: I wrote a post about 2 hours after THE quake hit Japan. It was scary, so scary that for the first time in memory I actually feared for my life. The event and the following weeks were mind-blowing. Everything from aftershocks, heart-breaking stories on the television, and the unseen threat of nuclear radiation was coursing through conscious thought, while my dreams were often interrupted by the strong aftershocks. The intimidating power of nature is one way to learn how small a person really is - it put a lot of things into perspective.

Expecting: The day before Ayako and I left Japan for our seriously delayed, but never forgotten, honeymoon - we learned that we were expecting a baby. At the time I heard, I was sitting at the Gotemba train station - a rural resort town near Mt. Fuji - where I had just spent a night with coworkers. The news was big, but not completely unexpected - yet it still made me think constantly about the future ahead of me and how I could prepare.

Italy - our honeymoon: I promised my wife when we got engaged that I’d take her to Florence, Italy. It was only fitting, in my mind, since we met in a town by the same name in the States. Seeing the Old World was amazing - and the weather during our trip couldn’t have been better. What made this trip extra special for us was knowing that our lives were going to change completely over the next 9 months.

Japanese Lessons: The week after we returned from Italy, I registered for 1-on-1 Japanese lessons at Meguro Language Center. The schedule was intense - 5 days a week from 8AM to 9:30AM - with loads of homework to do each night. The curriculum and teachers really helped me map out a fast-paced path to learning Japanese. Getting up at 5AM every day and going to bed around midnight became the routine - and the product of all that work is something I’m still proud of today, albeit I’m not finished. Registering for the classes was a big step forward for me. I put my money where my mouth was (that’s an accurate pun) and pushed myself past my simple daily habit and it made me feel in control.

A tiny heart: In May of this year we got to hear, for the first time, the beating heart of our baby. That moment still is etched in my memory as clear as if it were yesterday. Life, the baby we couldn’t yet call by name, was there - and it was very real. I’ll probably never forget that feeling, knowing that something so tiny relied on me in such a big way.

Golden Week with the In-laws: The first week of May we spent in Maebashi with Ayako’s parents. The news of their first grandchild sparked life into them like I’d never seen before (not that they weren’t lively before). We traveled to a temple in Ota city together, and I learned a lot more about family life in Japan.

Losing my brother: The lowest point in my year came in mid-May when my brother, only 8 years my senior, passed away. It was a very heart-wrenching feeling to know that I was on this side of the world, far removed from his suffering and unaware how serious his illness had become. My unawareness actually had nothing to do with my family keeping me updated (they did email and call me often), but more so with my unwillingness to accept that he was dying. Although he told me that he was tired of fighting renal failure (which came from a near fatal infection that attacked his kidneys when he was an infant - after which one doctor said he wouldn’t live much longer), I couldn’t believe he’d given up, or that his body was truly failing him. I argued with my brother at one point, telling him he had to seek different medical help - he had to go to a different doctor, a different hospital - he had to fight it. I argued with him and silently told myself that he’d pull through, but he didn’t. Not going to see Roy in his last days was a deep emotional wound that I inflicted on myself. I was deep in depression for several months after his death; I drank a lot then (almost daily), and pondered that the world is full of unfairness: some people get more time than they deserve and others never get enough. I thank God that I have my wife and a lot of friends here in Japan - I was never alone, and it forced me to hide my mourning with a smile and chit-chat and activities - and I relearned that the only way to truly heal was to keep moving forward.

JLPT: In July of 2011, I took and passed the JLPT level N4. I had taken the test 6 months previously just to see where I was in my language ability - and failed as expected. This time, however, I passed without a problem and felt great about all that studying. This little boost to my morale kept me going for the next 5 months in preparation for the next test in December. No matter how tumultuous the first 6 months of 2011 had been, I had a bearing on my direction - I was in control:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Losing a friend: By August, I’d thought all the bad events for the year had already been used up, but I was wrong. On the 22nd of August I received ill tidings that one of my close high school friends had taken his own life. He and I had spent a lot of our high school days playing basketball together at school and at an outdoor park. We’d play during the warm summer, cool springs and falls, and even once played around 6am on a chilly winter morning when he’d called me saying he couldn’t sleep. We even shared an apartment for a few months when I started my second year at a college in Georgia. That didn’t last long, due to some unfortunate uncontrollable events, and after that, even though we were still good friends, we drifted apart as many high school companions tend to do. My heart pained that I hadn’t seen him or talked with him before he died - his sudden death was a fresh cut on an already deep wound. Luckily, perhaps, that very same day I’d been a part of an informal after-work meeting in which a few words not directed at me seemed to speak directly to me. I took solace in the idea that I’m really the one in control of my life - it’s up to me to reach out to others proactively - it’s up to me to tell myself “shoganai nai”, and that’s what I did in a week long experiment that I plan on doing every year as a way to remember my brother and my friend Scott.

My daughter: With all the ups and downs that 2011 brought me, there was one particular high-point that eclipsed everything: the birth of Mia Kristen. Witnessing that event was life-changing in itself, but even now I know that my life has been irrevocably changed for the good. I’ve matured a bit more, perhaps it isn’t noticeable yet, but it’s true. I’m a father now, and seeing her face and dreaming of her future is all I need to be glad that I am.

I’ll be visiting the Philippines for a couple days in the next couple weeks. I’ve never been there before, but I hear the beaches are beautiful and the weather is warm - both a big change from Tokyo.

I’m interested in visiting most, if not all, of the countries that can be reached in 3-4 hours by plane from here. Finally I’ll be able to mark another off my list soon.

Over the Christmas / New Years break I needed to make some emergency changes to a website or two but I didn’t have internet access nor a computer save my iPhone. Luckily I found several FTP apps in the app store that seemed to be just what I needed based on the descriptions. I ended up buying 2 of them (seen above). I liked the both, but FTPonTheGo had a few extra features that I ended up needing (like automatic image resizing before upload) that the .99 cent FTP Client Pro did not have.

These FTP programs have been very useful. Not only can you upload and download, but you can edit files as well and change their permissions.

Unrelated, but this photo is the view from the office. It’s overlooking a densely wooded area in the heart of Tokyo - which is a pleasant change from the concrete jungle I see daily. Also, another gem exists in that photo - in the center you should be able to spot the white snow-capped summit of Mt. Fuji. In this small photo it’s a bit hard to see, but from the office it’s not at all difficult to spot on a nice day.

Over the last 2 months I’ve read a few books, occasionally I’ll reread books that I think teach some good life-lessons, and occasionally I’ll read a book just for fun. Recently, I’ve read Javascript the Good Parts - a useful read for any web-developer, The Lean Startup - has some pretty obvious advice but is delivered in a way that reminds a person that the obvious is often the most overlooked, and A Game of Thrones

I finished this one a couple days ago and was really impressed with how addictive it was. I took this photo while transferring trains - at the wrong station - because the book was so engrossing that I missed my stop. I’m eager to start book 2 in the series, but also a little worried that I need to spend that extra reading time studying Japanese… how can I find the right balance.

My mother recently renewed her driver’s license and we got onto the conversation of driving in Japan. It’s different here, even the signs (as you might expect) - and here is a Japanese stop sign as an example.

Jack in the… huh??? Where are my greasy hamburgers? Something isn’t right here…

Baby and mother returned home this weekend.

Saturday was hectic for me - I spent the whole day cleaning the apartment, washing clothes / curtains / sheets / pillow casings, and shopping for groceries and things we needed for Mia.

On Sunday, Ayako and her parents came to Chiba by car bringing Mia and a larger-than-expected load of stuff we’d collected for Mia. Presents, clothes, and general supplies for a baby surprisingly take up a lot of space.

On Monday, 2 friends / classmates from University days stopped by: Matthew (Bennet) and Yuki. It was a nice chance to chat, share photos, and luckily watch Mia sleep (no crying)

The rest of this week looks like an early workday and early return home. Ayako needs a break occasionally, and I like to hold Mia while she’s still so young.

What did I do over the Christmas / New Years break?

I went to Gunma, where my wife’s parents live.

We ate and drank with family to celebrate the new year. This year, we returned to the fugu restaurant at the top of the tallest building in Maebashi.

A tail of fugu inside this warm Japanese sake.

Went well with this raw fugu. I wrote about my introduction to fugu, and how I conquered it in two forms here.

And I spent most of my days just holding Mia, looking at her eyes as they explored the world around her.

Rob pointed me to this video and asked the quintessential question: “WTH?”

I agree…

It appears to be a bunch of really random stuff. Although, I must say there is a strange pattern of including things that say “mimi” みみ also sometimes written ミミ　which can mean “ear” and there are several weird large-eared faces all throughout the video - including the first and second-to-last clips.

Two of the funnier parts, to me, were the bear-headed boy dribbling a basketball (of course) and the guy with stomach aches - they called him ゲリボーイ which means diarrhea boy. First time I’d heard that word used, lol.

**UPDATE**
Found this (more info in the comments):

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu!

Mia is now 1 month old! Her little hands have gotten bigger in these last 4 weeks.

Shen from Def Tech, a famous Japanese recording artist, and the first Japanese group that I ever listened to (because my brother-in-law Makoto bought me their album several years ago).

This meeting was by complete random chance. My coworkers and I planned to go to a Chicago style pizza place, that I had been recommending, for dinner on our last day of work before the new year. However, when I called to make the reservation, it was all booked so my coworker made the suggestion we go to a California style pizza place he likes in Roppongi called Pizzakaya. Pizzakaya was a cool little pizzaria, but it was only half-full that evening. The other large group of people there were celebrating the birthday of a friend (a guy named Daniel Saito who works , interestingly enough, for MySQL Japan) and Shen was there amongst his friends. It took me a little while to finally recall where I had seen his face - on an album cover and on TV - and surprised myself that I was right. Shen was cool enough to let me interrupt for a photo and for a couple autographed Cookpad business cards too.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Def_Tech

“My Way” is my favorite song, but I enjoy all the music on the two albums I own - upbeat and positive lyrics make them highly recommended to anyone that’s into that genre.

I also have to recommend Pizzakaya (funny name that’s a shameless mashup of the word Pizza and Izakaya). The pizza selection and toppings were great (we ate a pizza called “The Big Russell” - lol), the microbrew comes in pitchers, and the atmosphere was way better than any other pizza place I’ve been to in Japan. Check it out if you’re hungry for pizza in Roppongi.