SOFTWARE, JAPAN, SELF-ACTUALIZATION AND

Today reality concerning my current situation set in with me at the least likely of places - the postal office.

So today I went to the Post Office, for the 2nd time within 1 week. The first time was to mail a couple of CDs I accidentally packed in my bags, back to Burn - their rightful owner. This time was on Ayako’s request for me to send some pre-packaged goods to her brother. Simple enough, the box was taped up, addressed, and in good shape.

When I approached the counter I was ushered to the side by the same guy that helped me the last time. He probably knew my lack of nihongo ability and decided to segregate me from the group of others that requested attention. And boy was he right… something was wrong with the way the box was addressed, and he wanted me to address it again. The problem was, I didnt know what he was asking me to do. In fact, when he spoke to me I only understood about 1/4 of the words he used - and those 1/4 were painting the wrong picture in my head. I simply asked for “futsu mail, yasui onegaishimasu” which, when constructed properly, means normal cheap mail please.

Unfortunately for him, he had to go through a circus of attempts to get me to understand what he wanted (which was for me to re-address the box using some special label)… and when he did, i was aghast - for it was not I who had originally labeled the box using 99% Kanji (nor could I possibly attempt to properly fill out some shipping label without at least 30-45 minutes of study). When it was all said and done, it took 10-15 minutes before he decided to relabel it for me and send me on my way.

Thats where reality set in. [note - the following may sound a bit conceited, please take it for what it is]. I’m a pretty smart guy, I’ve been labeled as above average intellectually (technically “gifted” by certain standardized tests), I consider myself a good speaker, not particularly eloquent, but good (I’ve won a few contests for speaking).

What I realized today is that all of this amounts to a big pile of poop when I am unable to communicate - ie. exchange thoughts/ideas via some medium. I can no longer ace an interview through my confident listening and speaking ability (both of which i am now handicapped), nor can I enjoy an intelligent conversation with friends here (something which I was lucky to enjoy in the US - all of my friends were eloquent, intellectual, and witty).

All the things that were easy before, will now be my greatest barriers. I am a child in expressions, facing the same obstacles of expression and self-reliance that took nearly 20 years to foster around family and friends.

きょうは　わたしは　おちゃずけ　が　たべました。　おちゃずけは　うまかった　です。　わたしの　しごとは　いそがしい　しました。　これの　アパテメント　ちさい　です。　わたしの　日本語　は　ちょっと　ひどい　です　ね。

This entry was posted on Monday, February 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 am and is filed under life in Japan. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.